It's 1:30 in the afternoon and I already have a glass in wine in hand.
This whole what you give the universe is what you get back seems hard most days right now. But I am gonna keep trying. At this very moment I am drinking my wine and telling myself, DO NOT REACT! Ugh the hardest this is not reacting.
It's my job to protect and defend my son. I mean how dare his own father out him in a situation to have girls be gossiping about if his own father loves him or not... GTFOH before I punch you in the mouth. FOR REAL who says that shit?
Talk about me all you want say I am sad he don't love me, LOL say it me, say whatever you want about me, I don't care. I mean really who are you and what do you mean in my life? NOTHING
But hear me Bitch, you need to back the FUCK UP if you wanna come at my baby because I have never had a problem knocking a bitch out! Trust that!
DON'T REACT, DON'T REACT. DO NOT REACT!
Ha, see how well this is going!
I guess it's better to blog my reaction instead of reacting to him or any of those girls...
Keep hating bitches because I promise you what you give the universe is what you are gonna get back and your attacking a 6 month old cause all you girls are sleeping with the same guy and I am the one girl that don't want to be with him. I am the one girl to not let him treat me like shit and believes the lies and keep allowing it, Keep hating cause I have his baby, its not gonna make me love him less, it just speak volumes about you!
Friday, September 26, 2014
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
What YOU Give Is What YOU Get
I have had a lot to figure out lately and I have decided that what I give out is what I am getting back. It's take a few arguments to realize this but I am finally here. I finally see happy again!
I could make every post about him and how he did me wrong and how he does our baby wrong and I could write for years about the games his girl friend plays and the lies she tells, but why? Sure probably makes for some great drama but then I am only getting negatives back. And I am not that girl, damn not even a little.
But what's sad is for a bit I lost my self in the hurt and lies and I kept letting it happen. I slept with him multiple times knowing his girl was pregnant but I didn't care because that is what she did to me. (an example of you get what you give back to the universe) I reacted to the hurtful things she would say, and I couldn't understand why he lied sooo much and caused so much drama. I know I will never get the honest answer so I decided I no longer want an answer. which brings me back to you get from the universe what you put out to the universe.
I have never hid who I was, I am proud of who I am and where I come from. My life was anything but easy. Maybe I didn't do things the right way and marry and then have kids but by golly, I love each and everyone of them more then I could explain. (Even on the worst days). I don't have to talk bad about anyone to feel better about myself, cause I am an amazing person.
If someone else is always trying to put my life down, judge me, anything negative, that's what they will get back in their life. Maybe they should ask themselves actually I should even ask myself why do I feel such negative energy? Maybe its a reflection of ones self and blaming others for your unhappiness?
There has to be something truly wrong in your life you are always looking for the bad, putting out negatives in the universe but remember your life will never get better that way its only gonna give you back what you put out there!
No I am not drunk, well maybe drunk on life again - I am loving it!
Until next time readers...
I could make every post about him and how he did me wrong and how he does our baby wrong and I could write for years about the games his girl friend plays and the lies she tells, but why? Sure probably makes for some great drama but then I am only getting negatives back. And I am not that girl, damn not even a little.
But what's sad is for a bit I lost my self in the hurt and lies and I kept letting it happen. I slept with him multiple times knowing his girl was pregnant but I didn't care because that is what she did to me. (an example of you get what you give back to the universe) I reacted to the hurtful things she would say, and I couldn't understand why he lied sooo much and caused so much drama. I know I will never get the honest answer so I decided I no longer want an answer. which brings me back to you get from the universe what you put out to the universe.
I have never hid who I was, I am proud of who I am and where I come from. My life was anything but easy. Maybe I didn't do things the right way and marry and then have kids but by golly, I love each and everyone of them more then I could explain. (Even on the worst days). I don't have to talk bad about anyone to feel better about myself, cause I am an amazing person.
If someone else is always trying to put my life down, judge me, anything negative, that's what they will get back in their life. Maybe they should ask themselves actually I should even ask myself why do I feel such negative energy? Maybe its a reflection of ones self and blaming others for your unhappiness?
There has to be something truly wrong in your life you are always looking for the bad, putting out negatives in the universe but remember your life will never get better that way its only gonna give you back what you put out there!
No I am not drunk, well maybe drunk on life again - I am loving it!
Until next time readers...
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Oil and Gas Boys
Some guy in the elevator today told me I was naturally beautiful and he did a double look at me. My face was so red as there was about six other people in the elevator so I asked him if he was drunk. Lol and another guy says and she's funny...
I think these boys have too many liquid lunches and it's only Tuesday.
With that said I missed my Special K like crazy. Our first day apart. He's been in my arms ever since I got home and I don't wanna let him go. A momma's love ❤️💙
Out with the negatives in with the positives!
Its really crazy how life works. How one person that meant so much to you could bring so much negative in your life.
I would like to think that he didn't mean to and when he promised me forever he meant it. He was truly my happy. One thing I don't regret is my baby boy that we created out of love and passion.
Yesterday someone hit my car when I was in a parking lot, the impact sent my baby into some serious distress, which made us spend hours at the children's hospital. What drives me crazy was my ex was so eager to blame me that he didn't once ask if our baby was okay.
After last night and the last 5 months, well really since he went back to the States in December I see how he really is towards my son which isn't much. I feel like he has replaced him with this new baby that is only 5 months younger than our baby. (sad hey?!) Sure I get this happens to a lot of people but it doesn't happen to me!
I would be okay with the situation if his girlfriend wasn't so mean and didn't slander my name because of lies that he told or if she didn't talk bad about my baby. But what drives me crazy more is how she lies and to him. There is a stupid anonymous blog that anyone can write on and not leave your name, well she writes personal things he or his family has said all to make his ex wife and I look bad and she does it on horrible days like the day of his brothers funeral or when he is playing football, well all the time. It easy to trace her IP address to her especially when it comes from a hospital in Cali where she is. One would like to think that living with him and having his baby would make you secure enough not to write on there, I can happily say I barely even look on there anymore cause all it is, is a bunch of insecure girls all sleeping with the same guy trying to hurt each other... UHM NO THANKS!!!
But after last night and knowing how serious things are with my baby and the fact he didn't ask about him nor come to the hospital has really changed my view of him and the situation. I need him out of our lives and I need to cut off all contact with him. I need to protect my son from his life.
All I know is before him, I had the whole world in my hands and nothing could stop me nor break me. I was the happiest girl ever. Well here we go back to that life. Don't get me wrong it isn't going to be easy but damn I deserve it. I have 3 beautiful children and a house full of love and laughter what else could a Mom want.
These girls can stalk me cause that's what his girlfriend does, I am sure within the hour I post this blog he will know. But see I am back in my bubble and not him, his girlfriend or any girl he is sleeping with ( and yes they are other, you can't tell me I am the only one he's been sleeping with since July) can pop my bubble. I am taking back my life! I refuse to be insecure and look girls up when I could be blogging or playing with my kids, I could be doing anything that doesn't waste my energy on the negative.
Besides I don't want a life of lies or a man that constantly cheat on me, but more importantly I could never be with someone that refuses to put his son first or let his girl talk about about his own child.
So out with the negatives and him and HELLO positives.
I would like to think that he didn't mean to and when he promised me forever he meant it. He was truly my happy. One thing I don't regret is my baby boy that we created out of love and passion.
Yesterday someone hit my car when I was in a parking lot, the impact sent my baby into some serious distress, which made us spend hours at the children's hospital. What drives me crazy was my ex was so eager to blame me that he didn't once ask if our baby was okay.
After last night and the last 5 months, well really since he went back to the States in December I see how he really is towards my son which isn't much. I feel like he has replaced him with this new baby that is only 5 months younger than our baby. (sad hey?!) Sure I get this happens to a lot of people but it doesn't happen to me!
I would be okay with the situation if his girlfriend wasn't so mean and didn't slander my name because of lies that he told or if she didn't talk bad about my baby. But what drives me crazy more is how she lies and to him. There is a stupid anonymous blog that anyone can write on and not leave your name, well she writes personal things he or his family has said all to make his ex wife and I look bad and she does it on horrible days like the day of his brothers funeral or when he is playing football, well all the time. It easy to trace her IP address to her especially when it comes from a hospital in Cali where she is. One would like to think that living with him and having his baby would make you secure enough not to write on there, I can happily say I barely even look on there anymore cause all it is, is a bunch of insecure girls all sleeping with the same guy trying to hurt each other... UHM NO THANKS!!!
But after last night and knowing how serious things are with my baby and the fact he didn't ask about him nor come to the hospital has really changed my view of him and the situation. I need him out of our lives and I need to cut off all contact with him. I need to protect my son from his life.
All I know is before him, I had the whole world in my hands and nothing could stop me nor break me. I was the happiest girl ever. Well here we go back to that life. Don't get me wrong it isn't going to be easy but damn I deserve it. I have 3 beautiful children and a house full of love and laughter what else could a Mom want.
These girls can stalk me cause that's what his girlfriend does, I am sure within the hour I post this blog he will know. But see I am back in my bubble and not him, his girlfriend or any girl he is sleeping with ( and yes they are other, you can't tell me I am the only one he's been sleeping with since July) can pop my bubble. I am taking back my life! I refuse to be insecure and look girls up when I could be blogging or playing with my kids, I could be doing anything that doesn't waste my energy on the negative.
Besides I don't want a life of lies or a man that constantly cheat on me, but more importantly I could never be with someone that refuses to put his son first or let his girl talk about about his own child.
So out with the negatives and him and HELLO positives.
Friday, September 5, 2014
Ninja PLEASE!
He kills me, for real!
My heart breaks for him and his family. I couldn't imagine losing a brother or son in such a tragic way. I couldn't imagine the pain he is going through. What I do know is I would want to hold each and everyone of my kids a little closer and a little longer.
But of course him not seeing his son for a month before this even happened is my fault. Yep and now its even more my fault because I stress him out and he can't compromise with me... Ninja PLEASE! I have always been there for you even when I was hurt and angry. I am the one who brought you food and gave you my truck, I bent over backwards to be there for you and have you build a relationship with your son. YOU have never anything.
Its funny how your girl friend had the balls to say that I show favoritism to my baby over my other two... (BOLD FACE LIE) I do everything with all of my children. I love all of them beyond words. Hmmm Ninja what are you doing? Oh right, YOU acting like Special K doesn't exist and do everything to be a good father to the other two and the other one was just born. I think your girlfriend even said I shouldn't be a mother, so WHAT'S this say about you. Didn't she also say something about my kids having different dads? Hmmm don't your three boys have different Mom's and you and your Brothers and sister have different Dad's? Hmmm What's she say about you and your situation? Wait come to think of it doesn't her Dad have kids with different women?
The next time you do an media interview at work and tell them how important family is to you, maybe remind yourself that you have a 5 month old baby that you have nothing to do with.
Its so sad that you tell so many lies to make me this horrible person, and act like I should be hurt or upset. But here's the truth you can lie about me make people think bad things about me that part I can move on from, but how you treat our son I can't get over and I won't get over it.
You should be ashamed of your self for how you treat him and how you let your girlfriend talk about about him. What kind of a father doesn't defend their own child.
One day you will want to know special K and you will reach out to him, but when that day comes I pray for you it won't be too late.
My heart breaks for him and his family. I couldn't imagine losing a brother or son in such a tragic way. I couldn't imagine the pain he is going through. What I do know is I would want to hold each and everyone of my kids a little closer and a little longer.
But of course him not seeing his son for a month before this even happened is my fault. Yep and now its even more my fault because I stress him out and he can't compromise with me... Ninja PLEASE! I have always been there for you even when I was hurt and angry. I am the one who brought you food and gave you my truck, I bent over backwards to be there for you and have you build a relationship with your son. YOU have never anything.
Its funny how your girl friend had the balls to say that I show favoritism to my baby over my other two... (BOLD FACE LIE) I do everything with all of my children. I love all of them beyond words. Hmmm Ninja what are you doing? Oh right, YOU acting like Special K doesn't exist and do everything to be a good father to the other two and the other one was just born. I think your girlfriend even said I shouldn't be a mother, so WHAT'S this say about you. Didn't she also say something about my kids having different dads? Hmmm don't your three boys have different Mom's and you and your Brothers and sister have different Dad's? Hmmm What's she say about you and your situation? Wait come to think of it doesn't her Dad have kids with different women?
The next time you do an media interview at work and tell them how important family is to you, maybe remind yourself that you have a 5 month old baby that you have nothing to do with.
Its so sad that you tell so many lies to make me this horrible person, and act like I should be hurt or upset. But here's the truth you can lie about me make people think bad things about me that part I can move on from, but how you treat our son I can't get over and I won't get over it.
You should be ashamed of your self for how you treat him and how you let your girlfriend talk about about him. What kind of a father doesn't defend their own child.
One day you will want to know special K and you will reach out to him, but when that day comes I pray for you it won't be too late.
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